February 14th saw Tyme Magazine revoke the title it had bestowed upon Indian actress Aishwarya Rai. The honour of MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD was handed to Bollywood performer Ajay Devgan.
When inquired about the reason for this 'man-woman' discrepancy, chairman of the American Tyme Magazine, V. Aarol. Kewl replied, 'we wanted diversity. It was necessary to represent the Indian male on this global platform. We don't encourage feminism. It's all about diversity.'
Aishwarya Rai gave her candid statement to the press yesterday: 'It doesn't make me feel bad, at all. We can't be the best forever. Ajay has worked very hard. He was fabulous in Omkara.'
Ajay Devgan was asked how he felt to be Numero Uno. 'It feels good,' he commented with unparalleled grace and vigor.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
U, Me, Me aur Hum. Aur Me.
When asked if he had liked Fanaa, he replied with nonchalance: 'I haven't seen it yet'. This statement is the cause of the grapevine doing the rounds in the Indian Film Industry - that Ajay Devgaan is jealous of his wife Kajjal.
Devgaan rebutts with his usual charm and charisma, oozing with life: 'I honestly haven't seen it.'
Newly discovered and uncannily similar brother Vijay Devgaan says: 'he should be given the benefit of doubt.'
When Ajay was asked to comment on Kajjal's beautiful eyes, he replied, in all honesty, 'I haven't seen her yet.'
Recent development on this rumour is that Kajjal is in fact jealous of her husband, because of his luck in marriage.
When asked if this was true, she said, 'Yes, I have seen him.'
Devgaan rebutts with his usual charm and charisma, oozing with life: 'I honestly haven't seen it.'
Newly discovered and uncannily similar brother Vijay Devgaan says: 'he should be given the benefit of doubt.'
When Ajay was asked to comment on Kajjal's beautiful eyes, he replied, in all honesty, 'I haven't seen her yet.'
Recent development on this rumour is that Kajjal is in fact jealous of her husband, because of his luck in marriage.
When asked if this was true, she said, 'Yes, I have seen him.'
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna
Gujarati farmers experienced an all-time low last month when the goats they rear stopped grazing.
'It was very strange,' explained Warp Dass, Manager of Rearing Association of Western India, 'It was as if they did not want any more food.'
When asked for the possible cause, Dass was quick to reply, 'Kabhie Alvida Na Kehna. It was a shame that such a film was made. The film deliberately preaches that goats should stop eating grass.'
Much of India has seen an uproar over this film, accusing it of relevant sins, much like the above. The argument presented to defend the film from such pertinent accusations is: 'This is fiction. Not a Guide or set of teachings. A depiction of what happens and why. Not a lesson in what to do.'
However, this defense is quickly crushed by members of the general Indian intelligentsia like Dass. They present a pithy and viable counter argument: 'No.'
'It was very strange,' explained Warp Dass, Manager of Rearing Association of Western India, 'It was as if they did not want any more food.'
When asked for the possible cause, Dass was quick to reply, 'Kabhie Alvida Na Kehna. It was a shame that such a film was made. The film deliberately preaches that goats should stop eating grass.'
Much of India has seen an uproar over this film, accusing it of relevant sins, much like the above. The argument presented to defend the film from such pertinent accusations is: 'This is fiction. Not a Guide or set of teachings. A depiction of what happens and why. Not a lesson in what to do.'
However, this defense is quickly crushed by members of the general Indian intelligentsia like Dass. They present a pithy and viable counter argument: 'No.'
Next Celebrity Big Brother
The choice for the next celebrity big brother is out. After Shilpa Shetty's rip-roaring success, the UK-based show has decided to include one actor from the Indian film fraternity this time as well.
The chosen one is Shilpa Shetty, again.
Show designer R. Idi Kyulus commented, 'Shilpa brought a unique and unprecedented dignity to the show. It is this very dignity that made her win. The show needs that dignity. Always.'
This time around, Shilpa will break into weekly dance-routines of the 'UP BIHAR LOOTNE' song she performed in an Indian film. The purpose of this is to further emphasize the dignity she brings with herself.
The chosen one is Shilpa Shetty, again.
Show designer R. Idi Kyulus commented, 'Shilpa brought a unique and unprecedented dignity to the show. It is this very dignity that made her win. The show needs that dignity. Always.'
This time around, Shilpa will break into weekly dance-routines of the 'UP BIHAR LOOTNE' song she performed in an Indian film. The purpose of this is to further emphasize the dignity she brings with herself.
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